Twenty-Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Today's Mass Readings

Sin & Forgiveness

“If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? But with you is found forgiveness, O God of Israel.” (Ps. 130, Entrance Antiphon)

With God there is forgiveness. Thank God! Between fellow human beings, not always. Oh, the humanity! When there is forgiveness between two people, it is beautiful. But getting to that point of mutual understanding and reconciliation is not easy.

Personally, I have been on both sides of the room: the one who needs to forgive, and the one who needs forgiveness. The process of reconciliation and the act of forgiveness is deeply personal. It involves being vulnerable, seeking mutual understanding, and the willingness to let go of past hurts and move forward.

Reconciliation:

First, both parties must recognize and acknowledge the harm that has been done. Without this, the offense remains unresolved and just makes things worse between them.

Then, each person needs to meet, perhaps along with a mediator. They express how they felt hurt or betrayed, and equally important, they listen to the other’s perspective.

Next, each person tries to see the situation through the other’s eyes. This is empathy. Empathy does not excuse the wrong behavior, but it results in a mutual understanding of the motivations or circumstances that led to the incident. Forgiveness is possible with empathy and understanding.

Lastly, the person who caused the harm takes responsibility and offers a sincere apology. The apology is not to be about avoiding guilt or a self-defense. It needs to be about a genuine desire for healing and restitution. Finally, the person who was hurt accepts the apology. This is true reconciliation.

Post-Reconciliation:

The act of forgiveness may happen once, but it is often a continual choice and effort each party. For the person who caused the harm, a change in behavior or perspective is in order, so that it does not happen again. This requires self-examination or maybe some counseling or spiritual direction.

For the person who was hurt, forgiveness means releasing the emotional burdens of anger, resentment, or grief. This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but rather choosing not to let the past control the present. For some, the forgiver may need to release emotions again. Emotional or physical boundaries may help, but actions of trust over time will heal the wound.

By forgiving, we imitate God’s boundless mercy. Just as God has forgiven us in Christ, so we also are called to forgive one another. (cf. Ephesians 4:32)

Lord Jesus Christ, son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Reflection by Br. Luke Kral, OSB